solace in pillows, & comfort in my clutter

New Lumpling pillows are in the works! I hope to finish them in the next couple of days.

Not very sure when they'll go in the store because Hans and I travel to Texas for his cancer checkup early next week.

I usually get a bit paralyzed before Hans has a checkup, and it keeps me from sewing and other hobbies. But I'm really trying to overcome that this time by forcing myself to keep working.

This will be his year and a half tests. For the first year he went every three months, and at a year he "graduated" to tests every six months. So this is the longest that he has gone without a CT, PET scan, or biopsies since being diagnosed in July 2005.

Now me? I'd be content with scanning him every damn week.

It's like we have been holding our breath for the past 18 months. Gastro-esophageal cancer has the highest chance of recurring in the first two years. Five years, of course, still being the "cure" goal, but these first two years are the scariest.

We are so close! It's so hard not to live in cowering fear every day, but we have to live our lives as normal as possible for our children and our sanity.

A really nice lady emailed me a few days ago after stumbling across the Amy Rue site and our story. Ten years ago her young husband, and father of their two young kids had Cancer. Here is an excerpt from her email:

~~It is a roller coaster, but almost 10 years later, I see that somehow we survived the ride. Our daughters are teenagers now. My husband and I stay active in their lives and our life is "normal". Those early days now seem very far away. A couple of the important things I learned are, keep your life as normal as possible, for yourselves and your kids. And remember to take one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow. Trust me it will take care of itself.~~

I love when people reach out like this. When they take the time to offer solace to a stranger.

I try to do the same for people now, and I hope that in ten years Hans and I will be a bit of strength for others in this fight.

Here's my wall of clutter and comfort above my desk. When I'm feeling stumped or blue, I can look up and see the small things that mean something to me: Pictures that Finn, Ella, and Hans have drawn, my marriage receipt ($26.00!!), family photos, old postcards, a card that Richard Kirk painted for my birthday, buttons, metal bits, and more!

I should also mention that I'm sick sick sick right now, and dosed up on cold medicine which makes me a bit introspective.

Crass goofiness should return by tomorrow!

I'm late I'm late!

Our local magazine featured a photo that I took of my daughter, Ella, for the Valentine cover.

Ella was pretty thrilled because she's still been a bit sore that Hans had Finn on his cooking show, and not her. But now they both have a tiny bit of local fame.

I've been remiss in posting on the blog since the last Lumpling adoption. After I had all of the Lumps packed up and sent off, I attacked the study/studio where Hans and I work.

It might not be spring yet, but I feel it coming and I had to get all of this organized.

Hans even helped me put up new shelves in my fabric closet, and now I'm just incredibly happy with it.

I've also created havoc on the rest of my house...ripped up carpet from the stairs and started painting them white. Made new curtains. Took apart the dining room table because it doesn't work and I'm annoyed with it. Hopefully, I'll be able to afford a new dining room table one day, but right now the room has no table, much to the confusion of our guests.

It's hard to explain that if something annoys me that bad it just has to go. I have to keep the table because it does mean something to me. My Granny used this table in her photography studio in Montgomery Alabama, then it was my Mom's dining room table while I was growing up.

When my stepfather died, I was five, and I crawled up on the table and carved his name into the top. I didn't want any of us to forget him.

But now the table is not a comfortable fit for us as a family. Maybe one day I'll open that shop that we dream about and I can use it in there.

Poof go the Lumplings

Two dollar roses

Many Thanks to everyone for coming and seeing the new Lumpling herd today!

Everyone was adopted and I'm getting Lumpling boxes all fluffed and ready for take off!

One last group shot

Lumpling Update!

Hello Everyone!

Do you hear the pitter patter of little Lumpling feet?

Here comes a new Lumpling herd!

http://www.amyrue.com

They will all go online on:

Monday, February 5th, 2007

At 1pm Eastern Standard

If you see a Lumpling that you would like to adopt,
please email me at amy@amyrue.com

and I will send a Paypal invoice your way or

a note letting you know the Lumpling was already snatched up.

Remember to ‘refresh’ the adopt page every few minutes, because I start putting up the ‘adopted’ notices as soon as I can!

I have more than just Lumplings in the shop now; there are little carryalls, pillows, soaps and other fun items. If there is something that you would like to add to your invoice, just let me know!

Sometimes Lumplings go very fast and I will be typing my little heart out replying to emails, but I do reply to every email.

If you don’t hear back from me, please check your ‘spam’ folder…

sometimes those emails are sneaky.

Adoption fees are Paypal only.

Shipping for one Lumpling $6.00 in North America and $8.00 International.

Please remember that Lumplings should still be considered choking hazards with wee babies under age three.or anyone who likes to gnaw on little animals. You know who you are.

Whew! I hope to see you all there!

A Decade Today

For Ten years I've worn the same ring on my finger. It's gathered some scratches, and gets dusty from time to time, but it's a good ring...a solid ring.

A ring that said "I do" on the Square in Marietta, Georgia, shook off the dirt after that first garden was planted, had hundreds of paint colors cover it from time to time, sparkled when my children were born, and comforted me when the word "cancer" was dropped into our laps.

Newly engaged in Germany

This little ring is ready for more. More scratches, more dirt and more love.

Because Ten years of marriage isn't enough...not nearly enough.

It's a damn good start!

I'm greedy and I'm proud of who we are, and what we dream together.

P.S. - Hans gave me this aquamarine ring for our 10th anniversary. I hope that in ten years this ring will also have a happy story to tell.

Distract me...please?

My silver penguin struggling to hold up his collection of vintage pins.

I'm avoiding scooping the cat's litter box.

I spend a good deal of my life avoiding that.

Hans calls it "Turd Burgling".

He'll call out to the children, "Look at Mama! Turd Burglar!"

I think we can file this under 'things you never wanted to know about'.

thank goodness Lumplings don't crap.

And thank goodness my munchkins like using the potty. On the day that Ella turned One she asked to sit on the potty. Love that kid!

Miss Ella turned her wee self over to me and my scissors yesterday for a haircut, and now she is sporting the sweetest, shortest bob.

Sheesh, I think the cats are drawing up signs for litter box protest.

okay okay! Duty (dooky?) calls!

7 x the baby boy love

My little boy is 7...SEVEN years old.

Geez louise...Did I blink or something?

We took Finn to his favorite Japanese restaurant where he had the choo choo train onions and his favorite sushi. The Chef discovered that Finn would try any sort of fish and kept stealing sashimi off of Opa's (Hans' Dad) plate to give to Finn.

The whole staff came out to sing to Finn and gave him a pineapple boat, complete with a candle.

Finn squirmed during the singing, but was thrilled with all of the special treatment.

We've been non stop celebrating his birthday since Saturday when we took all of the kids to the movies. The movie party was great and all of the kids had a wonderful time. On Sunday, we took Finn & Ella to the Build a Bear place at the mall where Ella got a Hello Kitty and Finn came home with a fuzzy frog. Monday was the Japanese dinner and today, Finn brought cupcakes for his entire class at school!

See, here is where I blinked... I'm pretty sure that I took this picture of cute little drooling baby boy just the other day.

But no, here is the picture I took the other day...complete with cupcake crumbs.

At this time, seven years ago today, the doctors were just deciding that I should have a c-section. They had been trying to induce labor for three days and my body wouldn't budge. I was at the point where my blood pressure was too high and it was dangerous for both me and Finn.

I'll never forget the nurse getting me ready for the epidural. She told me to sit on the edge of the bed and touch my toes.

Do what?!?

Touch my toes?!?

Are you freaking kidding me, lady? I haven't seen my toes in months! I don't even know if they are still there!!

That nurse ran away.

Everything went so quickly from there, and I was in an operating room with chatty doctors and Hans by my side. The Doctors stopped chatting suddenly and everyone was super quiet. We were told that Finn was breach, or head up, and the cord was wrapped around his neck.

If I would have gone into labor, Finn would have most likely been strangled by the cord.

There are so many times in our lives where we are just on the edge of something huge and awful happening to us. Sometimes we fall in and it is Cancer, but sometimes we turn away suddenly and are holding a beautiful pink baby.

So here's to all the times that we either turn away suddenly, or crawl out of that huge and awful hole by our teeth.

Because, Hell, Hans and I have done both now.

And here's to everyday being as special as a baby boy's birthday!